Many churches and similar Christian organizations are not exactly known for their awareness of slang or their prowess in the field of design, but every now and again they manage to create something so painfully awful, and so profoundly oblivious, that it’s worthy of a viral moment. Who could forget, for example, tunashamed?
So now let me tell you about a church called Christian Life International, apparently located in Salem, Vagina, er, excuse me, Virginia. CLI is currently having a viral moment in the spirit of tunashamed, though I’d say CLI has done it one better. And because we all need to laugh in the face of surging authoritarianism, I’ve decided to highlight what I’m dubbing “Epic Christian Fails” in a new monthly series of blog posts. (Speaking of series, Ex-Evangelical Conversations will be back soon with new interviews.) If you’ve found something you’d like to see considered for the series, tweet it with the hashtag #EpicChristianFails!
This month’s entry is going to be hard to top, I’m afraid, but here goes. The accidental greatness that is the Christian Life International men’s softball team’s logo first began blowing up the interwebz on April 23, when Twitter user @CBumfry tweeted a picture of the logo consisting of the characters “C-L-I-cross” in black, with a white outline, on blue fabric, observing wryly, “I think Christian Life International should have a word with their logo designer.”
Of course, savvy Twitter users immediately wondered whether this was a fake, but @CBumfry apparently pulled it from the imgur account of one Iamabonermachine (I know, I know, you can’t make this stuff up). Mr. Iamabonermachine (not my fault; don’t @ me) named the church as one attended by his brother-in-law, saying the elders came up with the logo design, which might be a reason no one in the church appears to have challenged it.
Having done that much due diligence, I weighed in with, “I mean I can easily imagine a church men’s softball team where half the dudes on it have no idea what the clitoris is, and most of the other half couldn’t find it anymore than they’d know where to start looking for Lesotho on a map of the world.”
And you know what? Thanks to the power of Google’s search algorithms, we no longer have to imagine it. You’re welcome.
As all of this was blowing up on Twitter, a source who requested anonymity as an employee of the company that printed the t-shirts reached out to me to let me know that not only do these “clit” shirts really exist, but that the company, which I will not name here, tried to warn the people who had ordered it about the epic pitfall in their design. More than once and to no avail. You’ve gotta love the stubbornness as well as the stupidity of that old time religion, amirite? It’s a truly winning combination.
Now, if you’re wondering, could they really not know? Someone decided to seek confirmation of the possibility by consulting their own grandparents:
Alas, poor grandma. And that, dear reader, is the story of The Cross and the Clitoris. Tune in next month for more Epic Christian Fails!